Impact of domestic violence on children

Children exposed to domestic and family violence will experience this violence in different ways. They do not need to have seen or heard the violence, to be exposed to it. Their exposure may be direct or indirect with either form having the potential to cause significant harm.

Being exposed to family violence can have a wide range of detrimental impacts on a child’s development, mental and physical health, housing situation and general wellbeing (Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (a), Australian Domestic and Family Violence Clearinghouse, Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (b), Legal Aid NSW). More specifically, research has found exposure to family violence is associated with a range of outcomes, including:

diminished educational attainment
reduced social participation in early adulthood
physical and psychological disorders
suicidal ideation
behavioural difficulties
homelessness
future victimisation or violent offending (Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (b)).

A child may be reluctant to disclose their experiences or feelings due to concerns that doing so will increase their risk of harm, increase the level of violence, cause more harm to their mother or because they have been groomed or coerced to remain silent (Hart (b)).

Note

As detailed in the practice guide Decision making at intake, Child Safety’s definition of exposure to domestic and family violence is:

Exposure to domestic and family violence occurs when a child sees, hears, or is impacted by acts of violence towards other family members in the child’s home. The acts are typically done by (and in relation to) a parent or carer but may also be done by other members of the child’s family. Acts of violence is not limited to physical violence and can include emotionally or coercively controlling behaviours.

Only when the circumstances suggest the severity of harm is significant, and the likelihood of harm is probable, is a notification recorded.

The Australian Child Maltreatment Study (Haslam et al.) findings showed exposure to domestic violence:

is the most common type of maltreatment experienced by children
is rarely isolated
increases the likelihood that another type of abuse or neglect is also present for that child because it creates the conditions for other types of abuse and inhibits the ability of the non-offending parent to intervene or act protectively.

These statistics inform our practice to remain open and curious about the presence of domestic and family violence when assessing other types of abuse.
There are many ways the violence impacts children and these include:

the child’s relationship with their mother, father, and other people
the child’s behaviours, emotions, and thoughts
the child’s learning
the child’s physical health.
The following table provides detailed examples which may help risk assessment information gathering and analysis for children exposed to domestic and family violence. Note, the specific impact (harm) caused to a child requires individualised analysis appropriately considering and contextualising their experience.

Impacts to the child’s relationship with their mother

Example behaviour	Contexual example
A mother may purposefully separate herself physically and emotionally from the child in an attempt to prevent the child’s direct involvement in the violence.	A mother identifies her partner’s violence increases when he sees affection between herself and her child. She protects her child from violence by withdrawing affection when he is around.
The mother’s bond with her child is negatively impacted through the increase of stress and fear caused by his violence.	The mother is so exhausted from stress, hypervigilance and recovering from emotional and physical injury caused by the person using violence, that she is unable to spend any time with her child, beyond tending to their physical care needs.
Example of resulting harm
Where the father’s behaviour is persistent and has affected the mother’s actions over a prolonged period, this may convey to the child that they are unloved and unwanted, impairing the child’s emotional, social, and cognitive development. This impact is observable in the child’s inability to manage their emotions, changes in their behaviour and poor relationships with peers and adults in other settings, away from their home.

Example behaviour	Contexual example
The child chooses to align with their father to avoid becoming the intended victim of his violence.	The child knows that by ‘siding with’ their father, they avoid the physical and verbal abuse. The father tells the child, ‘Your mother is tearing the family apart by calling the police [when he is violent] so you need to hide the phone so she can’t destroy our family’.
Example of resulting harm
The father’s behaviour persistently conveys the child is only of value when they are meeting his needs; reinforces his antisocial and deviant behaviour patterns and normalises the physical aggression which the child has been using socially with their peers being markedly disruptive, bullying other students and physically aggressive at school.

Example behaviour

Contexual example

The child chooses to align with their father to avoid becoming the intended victim of his violence.

The child knows that by ‘siding with’ their father, they avoid the physical and verbal abuse.

The father tells the child, ‘Your mother is tearing the family apart by calling the police [when he is violent] so you need to hide the phone so she can’t destroy our family’.

Example of resulting harm

The father’s behaviour persistently conveys the child is only of value when they are meeting his needs; reinforces his antisocial and deviant behaviour patterns and normalises the physical aggression which the child has been using socially with their peers being markedly disruptive, bullying other students and physically aggressive at school.

Impacts to the child’s relationship with their father

Example behaviour	Contexual example
The child’s relationship with their father deteriorates as the child struggles to reconcile conflicting emotions of love, hate, and fear of their father.	The father has been violent towards both his child and their mother for 5 years. Over this time, the child has grown distant from their father to protect themselves from violence. The child now expresses they do not want any relationship with their father.
Example of resulting harm
The child is persistently running away from home, placing themselves at risk on the streets by forming intense relationships with other young adults, misusing substances, and engaging in risk-taking behaviours. These actions are placing the child at risk of physical harm (risk of injury or sexual abuse).

Example behaviour	Contexual example
The relationship with their father may be abruptly severed through incarceration, No Contact provisions on Domestic Violent Orders or parent separation.	The father is being held responsible for his actions. He is incarcerated for several years for his use of violence. To protect herself and child from future violence, mother and child move to another state.
Example of resulting harm
The child experiences distress from the sudden separation and lack of contact or communication with him or about his wellbeing. The child experiences feelings of fear and confusion as they do not understand the reasons for this separation which result feelings of insecurity and distrust of authority figures. The child does not form a positive self-identity due to the feelings of shame and embarrassment about their family’s dynamics. The disrupted attachment with their father can cause long-term emotional or difficulties forming relationships later in life.

Example behaviour

Contexual example

The relationship with their father may be abruptly severed through incarceration, No Contact provisions on Domestic Violent Orders or parent separation.

The father is being held responsible for his actions. He is incarcerated for several years for his use of violence. To protect herself and child from future violence, mother and child move to another state.

Example of resulting harm

The child experiences distress from the sudden separation and lack of contact or communication with him or about his wellbeing. The child experiences feelings of fear and confusion as they do not understand the reasons for this separation which result feelings of insecurity and distrust of authority figures.

The child does not form a positive self-identity due to the feelings of shame and embarrassment about their family’s dynamics. The disrupted attachment with their father can cause long-term emotional or difficulties forming relationships later in life.

Impacts to the child’s relationship with their others

Example behaviour	Contexual example
A father may purposefully isolate his family from supports (professional and social), through manipulation. For examples, by controlling who the mother and children have contact with and when.	The father does not allow the mother and child to see the maternal family members. He uses the mother’s phone to send abusive text messages to her family to sour the relationship. The father refuses to pay for sports fees or equipment and prevents the child from attending practices regularly. The team coach rejects the child from the team due to lack of reliability and commitment.
Due to compassion fatigue or feelings of frustration, a victim-survivor’s support system withdraws.	The mother’s sister and brother-in-law feel frustrated to see her rekindle her relationship with her partner every time he apologises and begs her to return to their relationship. These family members no longer spend time with the mother or her children as a result, and no longer come to their aid in times of crisis.
Example of resulting harm
They are ridiculed by their peers for being rejected from sporting teams, further impairing their self-image. This impact is observable in the child’s choice to distance themselves from their peers due to feelings of shame, embarrassment and being misunderstood. They are too afraid to form or retain friendships as they are unable to participate equally in a friendship, out of fear their father’s violence is seen. They appear withdrawn and have developed low self-image and low confidence resulting in poor self-esteem. They are unable to identify people they turn to for help or support.

Impacts to the child’s behaviour

Example behaviour	Contexual example
The child copies the behaviour of their father to get their own way and express their feelings.	The child is violent to peers at school when they do not get their own way in a classroom or playground decision. They threaten another student with physical violence if the child does not agree with their ideas and sits with them at lunch-time.
Children victim-survivors may adapt their behaviour to be submissive or ‘perfect’ to reduce conflict or take control of aspects of their environment.	Hyper-compliance: The child is excessively compliant as they try to please their parents to avoid conflict. They are observed going out of their way to follow rules, complete chores, and perform well in school. The child believes if they are ‘perfect,’ it will help prevent the violence. Emotional suppression: The child suppresses their emotions by repressing any expressions of anger or sadness, fearing displays of negative feelings as these are likely to trigger further violence. Caregiving role: The child takes on caregiving tasks for younger siblings or their parents, trying to create a sense of stability in an unstable environment. This includes comforting others and mediating conflicts. Seeking control in small ways: To regain some sense of control, the child meticulously organises their room and focuses on academic success. These small acts can provide a sense of normalcy and predictability.
Example of resulting harm
The child develops an eating disorder, as an extension to their need to find ways to control their life, resulting in physical and psychological harm. The child sees their mother engage in substance use to cope with his violence. As the child matures, they too use substances to cope with their experiences in the same way. Children victim-survivors are twice as likely to develop a substance use disorder, compared to children with no experiences of domestic and family violence. Further, the risk increases to 192% for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children, compared to non-Indigenous children with no experiences of domestic and family violence.

Impacts to the child’s emotions

Example behaviour	Contexual example
Children are five times more likely to have had contact with a mental health service when compared to children with no experiences of domestic and family violence.	Due to constant feelings of fear, the child develops an anxiety disorder and experiences anxiety across all domains of life. The sights and sounds of the violence, along with the child’s feelings of fear and insecurity lead to the symptoms and diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder including nightmares, anxiety and difficulty trusting others. This trauma experience deeply affecting their emotional and psychological wellbeing.
Children may feel lonely, scared, anxious and ashamed. They may constantly feel worried for their own, their siblings and their mother’s safety, and they may find it difficult to relax.	The child is in a constant state of anxiety and fear due to the environment created by his violence. The child finds it hard to relax and is described by others as ‘high strung’.
Children may present as ‘numb’ or disconnected with a lack of affect to their situation including the abuse.	Flat affect: The child displays minimal facial expressions or other emotional responses, appearing indifferent or emotionally flat even in situations that typically evoke a reaction. They do not smile, cry, or show enthusiasm. Withdrawal: The child isolates themselves from peers, family, or activities they once enjoyed, preferring to stay alone. This withdrawal is their way to cope with otherwise overwhelming emotions. Lack of interest: The child shows disinterest in their surroundings and events, including being disengaged in school and social activities, failing to respond to questions, and not reacting to news that would typically be exciting or upsetting. Difficulty expressing feelings: When asked about their feelings or experiences, the child struggles to articulate their emotions and provided vague responses including ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I’m fine,’ when they are clearly not. Physical symptoms: The child exhibits physical signs of distress, including headaches and stomach-aches, without a clear medical cause. This somatic response is likely a manifestation of their emotional numbness.

Example behaviour

Contexual example

Children are five times more likely to have had contact with a mental health service when compared to children with no experiences of domestic and family violence.

Due to constant feelings of fear, the child develops an anxiety disorder and experiences anxiety across all domains of life.

The sights and sounds of the violence, along with the child’s feelings of fear and insecurity lead to the symptoms and diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder including nightmares, anxiety and difficulty trusting others. This trauma experience deeply affecting their emotional and psychological wellbeing.

Children may feel lonely, scared, anxious and ashamed. They may constantly feel worried for their own, their siblings and their mother’s safety, and they may find it difficult to relax.

The child is in a constant state of anxiety and fear due to the environment created by his violence. The child finds it hard to relax and is described by others as ‘high strung’.

Children may present as ‘numb’ or disconnected with a lack of affect to their situation including the abuse.

Flat affect: The child displays minimal facial expressions or other emotional responses, appearing indifferent or emotionally flat even in situations that typically evoke a reaction. They do not smile, cry, or show enthusiasm.

Withdrawal: The child isolates themselves from peers, family, or activities they once enjoyed, preferring to stay alone. This withdrawal is their way to cope with otherwise overwhelming emotions.

Lack of interest: The child shows disinterest in their surroundings and events, including being disengaged in school and social activities, failing to respond to questions, and not reacting to news that would typically be exciting or upsetting.

Difficulty expressing feelings: When asked about their feelings or experiences, the child struggles to articulate their emotions and provided vague responses including ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I’m fine,’ when they are clearly not.

Physical symptoms: The child exhibits physical signs of distress, including headaches and stomach-aches, without a clear medical cause. This somatic response is likely a manifestation of their emotional numbness.

Impacts to the child’s learning

Example behaviour	Contexual example
A child may struggle to concentrate at school because they are tired, having trouble sleeping, or hypervigilant.	The child appears exhausted at school every day, falls asleep during class and struggles to concentrate or focus on the task given. Teachers comment the child’s academic results are slipping, and their attitude to learning is assessed as disengaged.
A child may change schools frequently due to moving to keep safe, or regularly miss school due to disruptions at home.	Following fleeing from the person using violence, the mother and child have moved to four different regional areas as they were unable to access long term housing in shelters. This has interrupted the child’s learning and their willingness to engage in school fully (as they expect to move again).

Example behaviour

Contexual example

A child may struggle to concentrate at school because they are tired, having trouble sleeping, or hypervigilant.

The child appears exhausted at school every day, falls asleep during class and struggles to concentrate or focus on the task given.

Teachers comment the child’s academic results are slipping, and their attitude to learning is assessed as disengaged.

A child may change schools frequently due to moving to keep safe, or regularly miss school due to disruptions at home.

Following fleeing from the person using violence, the mother and child have moved to four different regional areas as they were unable to access long term housing in shelters.

This has interrupted the child’s learning and their willingness to engage in school fully (as they expect to move again).

Impacts to the child’s thoughts

Example behaviour	Contexual example
A child’s self-esteem is impacted as they believe they are worthless and to blame for the violence.	The child’s self-esteem is diminished, especially when seeing other children play and bond with their fathers. The child feels they are to blame for his violence and are deserving of the violence.
A child’s thoughts of others are impacted, reinforcing a belief that people cannot be trusted and may be violent.	The child is playing soccer at a local soccer club and has a panic attack after accidentally kicking the ball at another player’s head, expecting to be physically and verbally abused by their soccer coach for their mistake.
A child may develop biased perceptions of gender and think violence is a normal part of relationships.	As the young person matures and discusses relationships with peers, they become preoccupied with power and dominance over others, rate females’ bodies and behave as if they are entitled to women. As the young person enters their own relationships, they demonstrate controlling behaviours to their girlfriend/s. The young person believes it is their girlfriend’s role to be subservient to them, just like their mother is to their father.

Example behaviour

Contexual example

A child’s self-esteem is impacted as they believe they are worthless and to blame for the violence.

The child’s self-esteem is diminished, especially when seeing other children play and bond with their fathers.

The child feels they are to blame for his violence and are deserving of the violence.

A child’s thoughts of others are impacted, reinforcing a belief that people cannot be trusted and may be violent.

The child is playing soccer at a local soccer club and has a panic attack after accidentally kicking the ball at another player’s head, expecting to be physically and verbally abused by their soccer coach for their mistake.

A child may develop biased perceptions of gender and think violence is a normal part of relationships.

As the young person matures and discusses relationships with peers, they become preoccupied with power and dominance over others, rate females’ bodies and behave as if they are entitled to women.

As the young person enters their own relationships, they demonstrate controlling behaviours to their girlfriend/s.
The young person believes it is their girlfriend’s role to be subservient to them, just like their mother is to their father.

Impacts to the child’s physical health

Example behaviour	Contexual example
A child may experience sleep disturbances including nightmares, insomnia, and bedwetting.	The child struggles to fall asleep due to often hearing their father yell and scream at mother throughout the night.
A child may experience stress-related symptoms, such as headaches, stomach aches or immune system-related illnesses.	The child often misses school due to intense stomach aches. The stomach aches are worse and more frequent when the person using violence is living in the home.
A child may be physically hurt during an assault from their father.	The child is pushed into the corner of the coffee table, causing physical injury.
Children have a 59% increased risk of self-harm, compared to non-exposed children.	The child uses non-suicidal self-injury to cope with the intense and confusing emotions they have been experiencing because of their father’s violence.

Patterns and cumulative harm

Due to the very nature of domestic and family violence being an ongoing pattern of behaviour, it follows the impacts on children will also be cumulative.

‘I was so scared I couldn’t breathe. There’s all this stuff in my head…it’s like ghosts. All this bad stuff… it’s been like dominos. You know when everything just crashes down… you know when you stand dominos up and one topples over the other. You know… boom, boom, boom… and you don’t know which one started and where it will end and that’s me…’

Melanie, aged 9 years (Miller).

It is challenging to accurately identify cumulative harm from exposure to domestic and family violence when child protection responses are incident based. Rather, our practice needs to consider the child’s lifetime of experiences when determining if cumulative harm is occurring.

Domestic and family violence negatively and cumulatively impacts children’s:

physical, neurological, and emotional development
sense of security and attachment in relationships
mental health and cognitive and behavioural functioning
development of positive attachments
ability to cope and adapt to different situations and contexts (Victorian Government).

Children growing up in environments where domestic and family violence occurs may also be more likely to require additional support to:

meet milestones
regulate their emotions and behaviours
engage in education
sustain positive relationships with others.

Being exposed to family violence can have a wide range of detrimental impacts on a child’s development, mental and physical health, housing situation and general wellbeing (Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (b)). More specifically, research has found exposure to family violence is associated with a range of outcomes, including:

diminished educational attainment
reduced social participation in early adulthood
physical and psychological disorders
suicidal ideation
behavioural difficulties
homelessness
future victimisation or violent offending (Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (b)).

Typical short-term responses
Hyperarousal	The child may become jumpy, nervous, or easily startled.
Re-experiencing	The child may continue to see or relive images, sensations, or memories of the domestic violence despite trying to put them out of mind.
Avoidance	The child may avoid situations, people and reminders associated with the violence, or may try not to think or talk about it.
Withdrawal	The child may feel numb, frozen, or shut down, or may feel and act as if cut off from normal life and other people.
Reactions to reminders	The child may react to any reminder of the domestic violence. Sights, smells, tastes, sounds, words, things, places, emotions, even other people can become linked in the child's mind with the traumatic events.
Sleep	Trouble going to sleep or staying asleep or having nightmares.
Thoughts and play	Repetitive talk or play about the domestic violence.
Guilt and shame	The child may think they are to blame and responsible for the violence. They can also be embarrassed about how others will view them and their family and may not disclose for these reasons.

Typical long-term responses
Depression	Anxiety	Substance abuse
Experiencing suicidal distress	Impulsive acts or self-destructive behaviours including risk sex and unintended pregnancy	Chronic health problems
Low self-esteem	Criminal and violent behaviour including perpetrating domestic and family violence	Victimisation by an intimate partner

Practice prompt

When there is no reasonable suspicion of significant harm, a child concern report is recorded.

When there are no allegations or risk of harm are identified, a limited intake response or intake enquiry is recorded.

Filicides and domestic and family violence

ANROWS and the Australian Domestic and Family Violence Death Review Network study on filicides identified the vast majority of cases of filicide (where a parent killed their child), were preceded by domestic and family violence, child abuse, or a combination of both in the weeks, months or years leading to the child’s death (Australia’s National Research Organisation for Women’s Safety (a)). In 51% of cases studied, the child had been reported to child protection authorities as a victim of violence prior to their death.

‘We need to see and respond to children as victims of domestic and family violence in their own right. Failure can be fatal.’

Impact of domestic violence on children

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