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hi I'm professor bring Grenaa and i lead
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the project err strategy for personality
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disorders we work with mental health
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professionals and researchers to help
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parents get the information they need to
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deal with the challenges they face we
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all love being parents but it can also
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be hard at times and personality
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disorders can make it even harder don't
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open those eggs today we'll meet Sam Sam
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is a single mother with personality
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disorder and she has three children
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Ethan Jack and Mia we look at the
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choices that Sam has and ways to care
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and support children when struggling
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with mental health problems
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I know what I do affects my kids I could
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say it yeah sometimes I just see in
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their eyes how much they need me and I
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just everything's just so intense I
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can't even think about them you know
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like I just feel so filled up with so
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many emotions and it's really hard to
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think about anything else I hate myself
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and just hate myself
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I need to find a way to regulate their
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environment they get too cold it might
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not work I might have something your
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time I am I've got to go remember we
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need to get all this done by Thursday I
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know I'll call you
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let me please open a doll oh yeah I'll
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let you in but you have to promise not
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to tell anyone okay jar
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especially not Ethan
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sometimes it just it just happens but I
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I don't even realize what I'm doing and
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I've already done it and I can't go back
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then I know that if I can learn how to
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deal with my problems then I won't have
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to put that on to my kids I'm okay jack
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I'm just washing my face that would be a
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lot better
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did you go check on Mia okay give me a
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warm watch cartoons
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thanks for looking after me at Jack your
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big help
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hey mom hey everything all right mm-hmm
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you wanna mount the sensor on the side
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of the way from the heat lamps that way
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temperature reading
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hey mom
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can we talk
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I'd pull myself out hole myself out
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until I have nothing left jack it's
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almost dinnertime
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no one gave me anything you know not me
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nobody helped me and I just keep
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thinking why does me and get everything
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when nobody gave me anything I just get
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so angry and then I don't even realize
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what I'm doing
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me you want me to come play with you
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when I feel better well when I feel
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better I to know that it's just about
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opening my eyes and really seeing her
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you know like really seeing her as her
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own little person and when I can focus
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on her world and talk to Mia about what
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she's doing that makes things a lot
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easier like the way you used the orange
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with the red ones over here and then the
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pink ones over here the green that's
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very nice
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I'm gonna do that too I'm gonna use some
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pink like you did and green and shall I
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get a brown one too okay
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we can rebuild it
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very good Sachi
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all right I already told you I called in
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sick and I need you to come over I don't
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know just just to be here to look after
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me you don't even care if I live or die
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so so pleased to say this to me right
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now where I really need you that is not
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true and I never
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easy
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not leave me alone today can you stay
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with me
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yeah
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Jeff
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let's go yeah he's you back
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I'll just take Jack me up to school and
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I'll be right back I'll be right back
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okay
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I already told you I called in sick and
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I need you to come over just to be here
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Ethan is such a good kid
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it's easy to rely on him too much
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sometimes I don't even realize how much
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he's doing around the house
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I don't want him to miss out on being a
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kid
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thanks for helping everyone get ready
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Ethan that's okay just give me a minute
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I'll get dressed to take you to school
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okay well I'm not going I'll stay here
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with you
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I'll just take Jack and me up to school
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and I'll be right back okay
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no that's okay you've got your science
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project to work on I'll be okay I'll
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call the clinic okay
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I'll be here when you get home this
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afternoon okay right Mia get your bag
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when we is going to get dressed I'll be
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back in two minutes
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parenting when you have a personality
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disorder provides extra challenges but
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it's important to know there are small
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steps you can take to make a positive
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difference no one can be a perfect
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parent but it's important that our kids
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feel loved and protected our role is to
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talk to them about what is going on
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protect them from harm and ensure our
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children are able to be children
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talking these things over with a mental
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health worker can help you develop a
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treatment plan that's right for you and
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ensure a safe calm and loving family
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environment
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it always seems really weird to me that
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in the hundreds of conversations I've
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had with therapists not once have I been
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asked about my kids you know being a
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mother as my main role and raising kids
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is really hard
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full-stop let alone trying to do it
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dealing with personality disorder
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I feel like other people are judging me
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especially other parents I guess I've
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avoided getting to know the other
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parents at the kids school
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but my kids are what I live for they are
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the reason I stick with my therapy and
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they motivate me to get better so that I
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can be a better mom so that so that we
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can have a better life than I had
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because my mom pretty much left my
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brother and I to raise ourselves and our
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household was pretty violent so I'm
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determined that my kids won't grow up
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the way I did my worst nightmare is if I
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would pass something on to them and I
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really don't want them to have to do
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I'm with the struggles that I have but
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I'm a and I'm their parent so
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I just try and be good enough everyday
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and just you know focus on the positive
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and take positive steps towards what
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really matters in my life
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I worry a lot that my kids could be
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taken from me but I know now that
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working with my therapists and being
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really honest about my struggles is the
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best way to keep us all together because
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you know my therapist and I work on my
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problems and that helps me be a better
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parent too I just hope that I can keep
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making progress
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you know it's really hard but
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I know that my kids really need me and
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I'm really important to them and they
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bring just so much joy and happiness
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into my life I just try and put aside my
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worries and enjoy time with them
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you