Working with parents of children in care

The most identified factor contributing to positive outcomes for children involves meaningful connections and lifelong relationships with family (Campbell, as cited in (Department of Child Safety, Youth and Women (a)). Positive and healthy relationships between parents and carers are vital for achieving better outcomes for children in care.

Regardless of the amount of time children are in care, they are likely to return home to parents or extended family once they exit the care system. With this in mind, we must do everything we can to nurture the parent and child relationship while in care, to be able to support the child’s development and their ability to return home safely as an adult. This helps practitioners to partner and build relationships with parents and their children, particularly when seeking and supporting a care arrangement.

When working with the family of a child in care, we must ensure that:

• preference is given to ensuring the child's wellbeing through the support of the child's family
• the views of the child's family are considered and the child's parents have the opportunity to take part in making decisions affecting their lives
• timely and accurate information is provided with respect to matters and decisions affecting the child's life, including information about accessing applicable review mechanisms.

These legislated principles highlight the need for a strengths-based, solution-focused and collaborative approach when partnering with the parents of children in care.  

Parents experiencing trauma

When children and young people initially enter care, emotions may be running high and the parent’s behaviour on the day may be aggressive, hostile, threatening, unsettled, unsafe or showing signs of experiencing a mental illness.

When parents are grieving, have limited information on what is happening to their children and may be affected by some other issue (for example, alcohol, drugs or mental health issues), they may not be able to process at that exact moment what is happening to their family. Parents may be feeling unsafe and traumatised by their child being removed from their care. This may cause them to show intense emotion, be angry, anxious, sad, and irritable. When parents are presenting like this, their ability and willingness to participate in conversations, decision-making processes and support of their children are diminished.

It is unfair to use the parent’s presentation at this time to inform decision-making processes regarding care arrangements, such as withholding the details of their child’s care arrangement.

A child’s attachment

The foundation for a child’s social, emotional and cognitive development stems from their attachment experiences. A child’s attachment experience is shaped by how consistently and reliably a caregiver responds to their distress signals, with the ideal attachment experience being a result of consistent, reliable and responsive caregiving (Cassidy, 2008 cited in McLean). Such attachment experiences assist in forming the basis for self-concept, self-esteem, and social, emotional and cognitive development (McLean).

This highlights the importance of parents remaining in contact with their children when they enter care, so children can maintain positive and healthy relationships with them, regardless of the case plan goal. 

Parents of children in care often think they lose their identity as a parent, as they are not parenting their children every day. Reduced contact with their parents may impact on the child’s and parent’s attachment and ability to maintain strong and healthy relationships while the child is in care. 

It is important that we support parents to actively parent their children in every interaction they have with their child—family contact, phone calls, school events, and doctors’ visits. In partnership with the carer, parents can maintain and grow their relationship with their children while supporting their child’s relationship with their carer. Just as importantly, carers can grow their relationship with children in their care while supporting the relationship with the children’s parents.

Partnering and participation

Partnering with parents is essential to achieving better outcomes for their children in care. We need to ensure we partner with parents in all decision-making processes about care arrangements. Our partnering with parents should always be strengths-based, collaborative, informed and genuine.

Research tells us we need to take a collaborative approach to planning and managing transitions that keeps the child and people significant to the child (such as their parents) at the centre of the decision-making process. This more likely to result in a successful outcome for the child.

For Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children and young people, there may be family members other than their parents who should be closely involved in this work, along with workers from family wellbeing services and, if a child or family consents, an independent person.

The Framework for Practice highlights the notion of ‘nothing about us, without us’ which is crucial in partnering with parents of children in care. Parents are the experts about their children and will be able to provide you with a vast amount of information to help in your work in supporting their children in care. 

By seeking as much information as possible from parents, we will help them feel included in the decision-making processes, feel empowered, and feel that they have an element of control regarding their children. 

This may include but is not limited to information about the children’s:

• medical needs
• favourite meals
• bedtime routine
• daily routine    
• brand of formula
• favourite bedtime story
• allergies
• educational progress
• food intolerances
• traditional language group
• friendship group
• extracurricular activities    
• closest relatives
• religion.

Encourage the active participation by parents in the:

• child’s case plan and cultural support plan development
• child’s education support plan development
  and
• completion of the child information form, PSU referral, and child health passport.

This will help achieve better outcomes for children in care, support the relationship between the parent and the child, and may increase their capacity to parent and improve their relationship with their child.

Providing parents with information

To increase the involvement of parents in decisions about their children’s care arrangements, continue to keep them informed through your case work activities and include them in major decision-making processes.

This includes information about a child’s care arrangement. The majority of time parents can be provided with all information regarding their children’s care arrangements, including the carer’s name, address and telephone number. However, it is sometimes necessary to withhold all information (if sharing the information means the risk to the children and carer’s safety is high). In these instances, a rigorous and balanced assessment identifying the risk and protective factors for the child and carers is needed.

Child Safety has a legislative responsibility to provide written letters to parents advising them of any decision about a care arrangement and contact arrangements (in accordance with the Child Protection Act 1999), as these decisions are reviewable through the Queensland Civil and Administrative Tribunal (QCAT)). 

These letters meet legislative requirements but also outline the reasons for the decisions made. Ideally, the parent will have been involved in the decision-making process and will be aware of the content of the letter before receiving it. Allowing the parent to participate at each step of the process is empowering for the parent, reduces the likelihood of confrontation and helps prepare the parent for the decision or a transition that is to occur.

Be sure to consider culturally appropriate communication with the parents and provide a culturally safe space to engage with them. Culturally safe practices include actions that recognise and respect the cultural identities of others and safely meet their needs, expectations and rights. (Refer to Care arrangements for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.) 

Parents sharing information with children

Sometimes the best person to tell a child about an important decision is the parent, for example, when a child is changing care arrangements, or an application is before the courts for their long-term care. When this is assessed as appropriate, there is value in the parent sharing decisions with children, as this will help build their relationship. 

To ensure this is a positive process, the parent may need help to prepare for the conversation. When a parent does not support a decision (for example, removal from kinship carers) they will require encouragement and support to be able to communicate the decision well with the child.  

Parents partnering with carers

While partnering with parents is essential to better outcomes for their children in care, supporting our carers to partner with parents is also crucial for children in care. This will contribute to the child achieving better outcomes and maintaining a healthy relationship with their parents.

It is up to the practitioner to set this expectation with the parent from day one and remind the parents that they don’t stop being parents when their children enter care. Some ways parents and carers can partner and co-parent children include:

• speaking positively of each other at all times
• having a communication book where the carer provides updates on the child for the parent
• parents and carers attending safety and support network meetings together
• parents having the contact details of the carers
• parents having input to the child’s daily routine and schooling arrangements
• nurturing the child during family contact to prepare them for the grief and loss at the end of family contact
• carers meeting the parents and extended family members important to the child
• carers placing phone calls to parents to celebrate momentous occasions (for example, the child scoring a goal at football) and parents being able to call the carer to share their success stories with their children (for example, the parent got a job)
• carers taking photos of momentous occasions and providing them to parents
• parents attending their child’s activities (such as sporting games) with the carers
• parents attending events such as school sports days
• parents attending doctors’ visits and supporting their child (together with the carer)
• parents providing cultural information to the carer and showing them how they can support their child’s cultural needs
• parents and carers being clear on each other’s roles in the child’s life
• carers referring to the child as ‘your child’ when speaking with the parents
• parents and carers deciding together what name or title the child should call the carers as, for example, ‘aunty’, ‘for now parents’, ‘mum’
• carers talking with the parents directly about daily decisions such as haircuts, style of clothes and so on.

Refer to the Carers partnering with parents section for the Bridging the Gap resource, developed by Denise Goodman that outlines some ways parents can partner with carers, to support and promote lifelong relationships between children and their family members.