Assessing immediate harm either at the investigation and assessment phase or when ongoing intervention is occurring will not always result in an immediate safety plan.
There will be times when an immediate safety plan will not sufficiently mitigate or reduce the risk to the child. When the outcome of the SDM safety assessment is ‘unsafe’, it means the child cannot remain in the home. See the SDM Policy and procedures manual for placement intervention options.
Key messages to tell parents
The decision made today does not mean their child will never come back home. Let them know you will be there to support them in getting the services and supports they need; however, it will be up to them to make the step towards treatment and recovery.
It is important that children hear the right messages about the parent’s alcohol and other drugs use. Talk to parents about how they would like their child to be told and explain to parents what their child will be told. Let parents know when they can see their child next. Speak with them about ways they can stay connected. Talk with them about family options and who may be able to care for the child or help in other ways.
Parents will probably need you to repeat information many times and in different ways. Have patience. Never assume parents have understood everything you have said or that is going on. Your explanations can help them take the steps they need in order to change.
Parents may need someone with them for support to help understand what has happened and needs to happen. You should revisit this conversation with parents regularly, because how they see and feel things is likely to be up and down. Parents will also need your help on how to talk with their child and answer their questions about alcohol and other drugs use.
Explaining the outcome
Finding the words to tell a parent that their child is unsafe is one of the most difficult parts of your role and it never gets easier. There is no easy way to tell a parent the words they do not want to hear. This is one conversation you need to practice.
Being able to emotionally support a parent while being the one who is causing their distress is difficult. Being able to explain to parents the outcome of your safety assessment relies on you having already explained the purpose of your safety assessment, why you are there and the decision that needed to be made.
Explaining this well up-front can help you later. Let them know that this is not the end, and you are going to work with them to have their child returned to them.
Be respectful and show empathy for parents. Here are some conversation examples:
- Acknowledge any difference in perspective but find a common goal about child safety.
I know you have said that your alcohol and other drugs use is not a problem for you or [child’s name], and I get that there are lots of things that could get in the way of us seeing things the same way. But the most important thing right now is that [child’s name] is safe and looked after while we sort through what needs to happen. I know you love [child’s name] and want what’s best for them too. - Name the specific way alcohol and other drugs use is making the child unsafe:
- Right now I can see you have used something and it means that you can’t look after [child’s name] and we can't have the conversations we need to make sure they are safe.
- Right now I'm worried you are using every day, you’re not able to plan when you use and there is no one to care for [child’s name] when you use and they cannot care for themselves.
- Right now I'm worried that you are leaving [child’s name] with other people that use drugs and they are not being supervised by safe people.
- Right now I'm worried about [child’s name] when other people are in your home using drugs. [Child’s name] has said they don’t like it and don't like [name of visitor] coming into their room. I know you said it's nothing to worry, about but I am worried about it.
- Highlight the seriousness of the worries, but maintain hope:
Right now our worries about your alcohol and other drugs use mean that [child’s name] is not safe right now. I know that is not what you want to hear. This doesn't mean we don't want to work with you or we don't think they can be safe again and come back home soon. What it means is that they can’t stay with you right now but we are going to work with you to help make it safe enough for them to come home.
How parents might respond
If a child is separated from their parent, a parent might:
- increase their alcohol and other drugs use to cope—This does not mean they cannot change. Talk with parents about what supports and services they can get to cope in positive ways
- feel even more ashamed, judged and stigmatised—These feelings are real and can stop parents from talking with you or getting the help they need. Acknowledge their feelings and do not judge them.
Talk about the concrete things you are worried about. Instil hope by letting them know that you believe change is possible and that you are there to help them make this change - ask for alcohol and other drugs testing to prove it is not a problem—A parent may want to prove to you they are not using and ask for alcohol and other drugs testing or ask their doctor to do urine screens. Let them know that talking to their local drug and alcohol counselling services might be a better next step
- ask what they need to do to get their child back—They may say they are willing to stop right now and do whatever you need them to do. It is important that parents understand that it is not just their alcohol and other drugsuse that needs to be addressed; it is understanding the reasons why they use, other complicating factors and the best ways to address these (alongside their alcohol and other drugs use).
Strengths-based questions for parents
When working with parents, use strengths-based questions to understand their problematic substance use, the safety of their children, and their capacity for change.
The following table provides examples of questions that may allow you and the parent to identify and build on strengths.
| Topic | Conversation ideas |
|---|---|
|
Exception questions |
You said earlier that you don't drink every day. Tell me more about the days when you don't drink. |
|
Coping questions |
How do you manage each day and not let yourself start using drugs completely? |
|
Expanding questions |
You were able not to drink alcohol yesterday so you could attend your child's sports day.
|
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Scaling questions |
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Ambivalence questions Ambivalence (having mixed feelings) is normal and it is the key to change ('I want to, but …' |
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Future hope questions These questions are very relevant to our work with parents. They help parents to consider their drug use and how it affects their child now and in the future. |
Unpack with the parent their childhood and experiences growing up:
What hopes do they have for their child?
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Ideal self-questions |
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Confidence |
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Importance |
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