Decide whether the child with harmful sexual behaviours can remain at home

A key consideration for practitioners responding to harmful sexual behaviours is whether or not to separate the child with harmful sexual behaviours from the home. Short term separation (days or weeks rather than months) can provide immediate safety for the child who was abused and can help them to make further disclosures about sexual abuse. Short term separation can also allow practitioners to assess risk factors in the family environment, assess the parent’s capacity to effectively supervise the child with harmful sexual behaviours, and involve the safety and support network in immediate safety plans and case planning. Consider the below points when exploring if separation is appropriate:

• Services should adopt a very measured and individualised approach to separation of children following a disclosure of sexual abuse by another child in the home.
• Long term separation is widely believed to be counterproductive as it removes the child with harmful sexual behaviours from known protective factors such as a stable living environment, stable schooling and connections to family and peers.
• The parents’ belief that sexual abuse occurred and a lack of denial or minimisation of the abuse are critical factors in determining the parents’ ability to supervise the child with harmful sexual behaviours. A period of separation can help parents to have time to think and evaluate their beliefs around the abuse through interventions and support.

Assessment is a complex and lengthy process and practitioners are likely to uncover more information about the harmful sexual behaviours and home environment as the assessment progresses. The remainder of this part provides more detailed information to guide assessment and help make decisions that are in the best interests of the child who was sexually abused and the child harmful sexual behaviours where sufficient safety is not identified.

Safety indicators

The section below describes safety indicators to be aware of when responding to harmful sexual behaviours. This is not a check list. It can be used to guide decision making around whether a child with harmful sexual behaviours who is over 10 years of age should remain at home while an assessment is carried out.

The child with harmful sexual behaviours is:

• not currently at risk of abuse (physical, emotional, sexual) and neglect
• able to understand and follow the safe family rules
• able to understand why the safety plan has been put in place
• receiving appropriate therapeutic treatment and support to change behaviour 
• not currently demonstrating behaviour that makes the child who was sexually abused or their parents fearful or intimidated.

The child who was sexually abused:

• is not currently at risk of abuse
• is not fearful of the child with harmful sexual behaviours
• has had their experience of abuse believed and validated by supervising parents
• understands what behaviours are sexually harmful
• is able to understand the safety plan and why they have been put in place
• can identify their emotions and signs that they are not safe
• can demonstrate that they trust the supervising parent to enforce the safety plan, and identify other members of the safety and support network whom they can tell if they are feeling worried or unsafe.

The parents, along with the safety and support network:

• do not deny or minimise the harmful sexual behaviours
• acknowledge the likely impact of the sexual abuse on the victim
• do not currently behave in ways that are harmful or neglectful to children in the home
• are able to provide an environment that does not expose the child  harmful sexual behaviours to known triggers for the harmful sexual behaviours. For example, domestic violence, sexualised language or acts, access to drugs or alcohol, or pornography
• are not fearful of the child with harmful sexual behaviours and can demonstrate they have been able to put limits in place to manage the child’s (non-sexual) behaviour where necessary
• demonstrate that they are able and willing to implement the safety plan
• demonstrate that they are an effective supervisor for the child with harmful sexual behaviours
• are able to maintain a connection to the child who was sexually abused and notice and respond appropriately to any cues of emotional distress
• are able to maintain a connection to the child with harmful sexual behaviours.

Building a relationship with the child

Connect. Understand what they like doing, who they like spending time with, what they want or don’t want in a practitioner. This will help identify any protective factors that can be built on. It will also help understand all the ways that the child is more than their behaviour.

Be clear about roles including the differences between a CSO’s role and a therapist’s role, and the limitations to confidentiality. For example, say to the child “I am going to work with you and your parents and together we can come up with a plan. This is to support you in changing your behaviours so you no longer behave [describe harmful sexual behaviours] to other children.”

Talk about hope. For example, “What you’re experiencing is difficult and we know that with support, things can change. [Person / people supporting the child] will help you through all of this.”

Always be upfront about what will happen next, even if you think the child with harmful sexual behaviours will find it distressing. This includes decisions around contact, or the child not returning home. For example, “We are all here to help you be at home and understand you may have some worries about making mistakes. We are making sure all the supports you need are in place and that safety plans are ready before you go back home so that you and others are safe.”

Be clear about your goal. For example, “I will be supporting you along with [parents, therapist and others] so you can go home. I need to make sure you are safe and that [child who was sexually abused] is safe too. Everyone is working together to make this happen, including you.”

The below table focuses on building a relationship with the child with harmful sexual behaviours and gathering information to inform an assessment of separation or reunification. Information on understanding triggers for the harmful behaviour and implementing the safety plan are explored later in the part.

Gathering and sharing information

Gather and share information about the child withharmful sexual behaviours regarding the following key factors to inform decisions about contact and reunification with the child who has been sexually abused:

• Gather information to ensure a thorough awareness of any additional disclosures by the child that may have been made since the child with harmful sexual behaviours was separated from the home.
• If the child has a counsellor or case worker from other services, talk to them to obtain their views of the child’s progress including information about the child and family in the part 'Questions to ask to consider risk' in Risk assessment and decision making for children with harmful sexual behaviours.
• Meet any practitioners involved with the family early and come to an agreement on the case plan goals. For example, what will success look like? How will we keep each other up to date? How can we make sure we are giving the parents consistent messages?
• In safety and support network meetings, case planning or review meetings and supervision, critically reflect and share information on how work with the child with harmful sexual behaviours and family is keeping the child who was sexually abused safe from:
  • further sexual abuse
  • other forms of harm by the child with harmful sexual behaviours
  • other forms of harm within the family
  • negative consequences from their disclosure.

The below table focuses on gathering information to inform your assessment of separation or reunification.

Identifying strengths and protective factors

The following are strengths and protective factors related to a child with harmful sexual behaviours:

• The child acknowledges the behaviours occurred.
• The child demonstrates empathy for those they have harmed.
• The child demonstrates an ability to be a safe person.
• The child recognises that they may be exposed to stimuli that evokes harmful sexual behaviours.
• The child with harmful sexual behaviours has had therapeutic intervention to help address the behaviours.

These strengths and protective factors are most likely to be observed in the medium to long term, especially in the therapeutic context. 

A child with harmful sexual behaviours does not have to demonstrate all the above strengths and protective factors to be able to return home. These factors can mean there is a decreased risk of the child engaging in harmful sexual behaviours because the child is taking an active role in risk management, taking greater responsibility for their behaviour and recognising the impact of their behaviour on others.
 

Below are some ideas for conversations with a child with harmful sexual behaviours:

• “Remember when we did the safety plan together, do you think it has been working? Have there been times when you have thought about [describe harmful sexual behaviours] but didn’t? How did you do that?”
• “How do you think [child who was sexually abused] feels about the safety plan? How sure do you think they are that you are able to be a safe person?”
• “Have there been times when you have known/thought about/felt like you wanted to [describe harmful sexual behaviours]? What was happening? How did you stay safe and/or what did you do next?”
• “Have you ever had help from someone whose job it is to help kids address these behaviours? What was good about that? How did that help?”
• “There are people whose job it is to help kids with these behaviours. How about trying it to see if it could help you?”

Key factors for parents when making decisions about separation or reunification

Never underestimate what it is like for a parent to hear that one of their children has sexually abused another child, including another of their own children. After coming to terms with this knowledge, parents may also have the challenge of balancing the needs of both children and trying to understand the information from the perspective of both children. It is understandable that a parent’s first reaction can be to close down and disbelieve, or that they may waver between belief and disbelief as it all soaks in. Slow down and acknowledge these common parental experiences and feelings to help build a relationship with parents and assess their ability to implement safety measures. For example, say to the parent “Other parents have told me that it is incredibly difficult to be there for two children who are both hurt and both needing your attention and your care. What do you think each child needs right now? How can we work together to make sure they both get the support they need?”

The parent may have had experiences with different professionals before they meet with Child Safety. Ask parents about what they liked about these interactions and what they didn’t like to help understand how these interactions may have shaped their understanding of the harmful sexual behaviours. It also helps establish a good working relationship.

Focus on shared goals with the parents. For example, “I can see you care deeply about both children and want them both to be safe. I am here for the same reasons”.

Talk about hope with the parent. Let parents know that children with harmful sexual behaviours are not like adults who sexually abuse others and that most children who behave in ways that are sexually harmful do not go on to sexually abuse others as an adult.

Reinforce the importance of the parent. For example, “You are so important to your child’s recovery. Children who have parents who believe the abuse happened, and who can put rules in place to stop the abuse, are often able to fully recover.”

Clearly describe the purpose of your work role and the limits to confidentiality. For example, “I will be working with you on a plan that keeps both the children safe. I will also be trying to work out if it is safe for [child with harmful sexual behaviours] to return home.”

Assessing and building the parent’s capacity to connect with the child 

A solid connection between a child and their parents is a cornerstone of safety for the child with harmful sexual behaviours and the child who has been abused. However, a parent who is connected to their child with harmful sexual behaviours but is unable to believe the abuse occurred, or is minimising the impact of the abuse, is likely to struggle with the level of supervision required to keep both children safe.

The below table provides ideas for assessing a parent’s ability to supervise the child (with harmful sexual behaviours) while also building their belief and increasing their connection to their children.